postive thinking

 i woke up this morning  and something  just clicked in my mind why do you worry about things you cant change   so much why dont you focus on things that you have control over ie your attitude towards work achieving your work goals ,  why  don't you  think more  positive honestly i can't explain the feeling i got but i decided i was going to think of all the things iam grateful  for ie my life , god , my husband , my sisters and adaora  also my Job thankful for a group of people that iam sure are always  rooting for me. so going forward iam just going to t be really thankful everyday and work my butt off at work depression has taken too much time from me and it is time i take my life back go back to doing the things i enjoy .

the african Girl child

Why is that as an african girl from the earliest onset we are thought that ohhh  everything we do has  to be so that you can get a husband   why dont we say learn how to cook so that you can feed your self instead of  learn how to cook so that you can find a good husband  why is finding a husband seen  as the biggest achievement for us  is it that we as girl children are not good enough that we  need to attain  that  great  achievement  of finding a husband to be considered good .

what is stopping me from being the best version of me

so I decided to restart my fitness journey by my self all over again we are going to call this mission 185 sooo yeah the last time i checked scale i was sitting  at a good 216  if my calculations are right that means i have about 30 pounds to loose i know it is not going to be easy but mehn it has to be done . A few people might wonder why do i want to do this . You look good  you dont look overweigh  but i know how i feel  . I actually hate how i  look  like i cant stand to look at my self in pictures  i  . I can see the weight in every part of my body it is actually so  annoying like how did i let my self become this . I just cant stand to look at my self in the mirror  like it is just soo irritating so today i have taken a stance this to do what makes me feel better. No more eating to hide emotions or trying to disguise my feelings i just have to start dealing with those emotions  and quite frankly the earlier the better  weigh loss for me is not about shedding the weight it is about addressing the issues that made me like this  talking about things i have never told  any one about  speaking up and having an opinion it is about evry body that has told me i dont have a voice . Even every time that i have felti wasnt good enough boy lemme tell you that is a lot of time but   i have decided to take charge onthis day june 19th 2017 i have played enough i is time to get serious and give my self the life i deserve  . I might  never share this publicly but this is my own way of expressing my feelings i have always liked to write down my thoughts. some times i Just feel like iam not doing what i m supposed tobe dong maybe that is why i get depressed or i feel like i botttle everything inside just keepit in until i just explode  or supress the emotions with food or whatever else but this is me coming out raw nothing hidden just doing what i know how yo do best write express my self be the best version of my self .  My posts might no t be gramiticlly correct a few people might think ian doing this for attention bit iamjust going to come here everyday and express how i feel  this will help me in the long runn. Heck some days  might be a really LOng post some days might be very short but iam going to do it one day at a time . on that note  till tomorrow......
 Kiki

Wedding Blues

 so ya girl  is getting married i really cant believe this is happening after all this years of wasting my love on the wrong people finally some one that has my back  mehn planning a wedding is stressful ohhh and not easy  some times i just want to sleep and wake up and everything is ready  but that is not the case . I promised my self i will enjoy the process and make sure nothing stresses me out even though they have started trying . mehn  i still can't believe  I am planning my own wedding  like bro is this for real can some one pls wake me up like how did all this happen  . i always thought no one will love me and all my craze  but my husband god bless his soul adores me  and treats me like a queen
 I still remember the first day we spoke and how akward i was  or the times we just didnt want to talk  cos i was being my  usual stubborn self but through all that one thing was always constant you never gave up on me  Iam actually excited to be your wife  . to look up to you for everything  neways thats all

A new begining

So today is the day i s the day i finally start blogging and working out seriously i really want to change and stop procrastinating on everything i want to do as it  has cost me  a lot , that is why i suck at school because i procrastinate a lot  for reasons i do not know .  Oh sorry how rude of me   i didn't introduce myself  my name ,  I am not your average 28 year old am always on the go , trying to do 1 million things at once . i love to look good cos i feel like you project a lot based on how you look . people take you serious when they see you are dressed up not looking like a hobo. even though i have my hobo days . i try not to let them stretch out for more than a week . I have four  beautiful smart , intelligent sisters that i would kill for  . I Am the oldest probably why i am over protective of them .  Family is very important to me   because they have been there  from the beginning and will be there till the end . I   am in a relationship we will just refer to him as the mr for now  till   i walk down that Aisle . i love fashion , event planing and make up . infact i like to put together events like think about it it is just an idea until hat day everything comes together that you have been planning  ot is just like a puzzle you fit all the pieces together . . Oh yeah incase i forgot to mention my name is Oge not olivia or silvia as my customers think
 so yeah i'm about to get serious about the things i enjoy    and the things  i enjoy